Dear Miss Manners: A 30-year friendship with my neighbor was threatened when he sent my wife an overt text message expressing his feelings for her. She was flabbergasted, and responded by simply stating, “I love my husband.” He then texted back “I’m sorry.”
Now a week has passed, and he has not apologized to either of us in person or provided any explanation. I reached out and asked him for a private conversation, where I asked if everything was okay, as this seemed very out of character. I said I was hurt but that our friendship was salvageable, and I suggested he have a conversation with my wife. Maybe even apologize.
The apology never came, nor has any acknowledgment of our existence; since that day, we just uncomfortably pass each other on our respective driveways. Not sure what else we can do.
Nothing! You are seeking an apology from a man who already gave one, and an explanation from a man who has none. Or at least no reasonable one.
Miss Manners recommends you let him be mortified and move along in peace. Yes, he made a terrible mistake. But had you not badgered him for another apology, and an explanation that could only make the situation worse, you might have had a hope of getting past it. Now it seems highly unlikely.
Dear Miss Manners: As the driver, how would you respond to a passenger who constantly interrupts the GPS with “better” directions?
“If you know a better way, I am happy to turn off the GPS. But if we get lost, that’s on you.” Miss Manners recommends that last part be said with at least a halfhearted attempt at humor.
Dear Miss Manners: During the pandemic, my neighbors both got covid, and I took meals to them for three days. I asked if there were any dietary restrictions or any foods they just did not care for. Now, my husband and I are both ill, and friends and neighbors are delivering food that I cannot eat, either due to food allergies or IBS symptoms (which I do not wish to reveal). Since no one asked questions about our needs and preferences, I now have pots of soup that I cannot eat — and, while sick, need to.
Is there a polite way to say, “By the way, what type of soup are you planning to bring?” One friend let it slip that she was making cabbage soup, and I said, “Oh, cabbage and I do not get along.” She pleasantly changed the menu, though I felt bad. Others, I fear, would not be so gracious, particularly the person who brought soup containing every type of vegetable I cannot eat. She simply said, “I am bringing you soup,” but that could be anything from clam chowder to chili! Please, Miss Manners, what should one do?
Avoid it altogether: “Oh, you are so kind, but I am afraid I have quite a few food restrictions and I don’t want to trouble you.” If that does not deter these kind but misguided neighbors, Miss Manners suggests you make room in your freezer — until such time as you are well enough to donate the soup or serve it to someone else.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
Source link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2024/04/26/miss-manners-neighbor-feelings-married/