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Dear Miss Manners: Eight months ago, my husband and I were introduced to a very lovely couple at a fundraiser. They are probably 20 years older than we are, extremely wealthy, interesting, generous and engaged with their community.
In our initial meeting, we enjoyed each other’s company for more than an hour, and they very graciously invited us to spend the night at their nearby residence rather than make the hour-long drive back to our home. Then when we departed, they gave us their home phone number to contact them and meet again.
We never called. Not because we weren’t interested, but honestly, it just felt so awkward to call their house (which is undeniably a generational communication difference). Now we feel bad for not calling them, as they are so interesting, and we would love to see them again. Is it too late to reach out? And if it’s not, could I reach out via email instead, or do I need to act like an actual adult and call their house as they suggested?
Normally, Miss Manners tries to take the point of view of her readers, whether they are attempting to solve a problem or are instead creating one. And she will get to yours.
But in this case, her immediate sympathy is with that hospitable couple. They are thinking: “We thought we had such a good time with that young couple, and I thought they liked us, but apparently not. We certainly urged them to keep in touch. But we can’t run after them, so we’d better let it go.”
What they are not thinking is, “They must be scared of us because we’re older and richer.” But that is the impression you left — that those were the terms in which you saw them, and not as interesting people who wanted to be friends.
So yes, you should call, you should apologize for not having been in touch sooner, and you should refrain from explaining why — because it is insulting that you reduced them to generational and financial stereotypes.
And you should issue a warm invitation to them. Do not tell Miss Manners that you will not do so because you can’t entertain in the same style as they do. That would only mean that you were repeating your error by assuming that they are too old or too rich to enjoy good company unless the style of living is exactly like their own.
Dear Miss Manners: How does one politely deal with a runny nose when eating at a restaurant?
Do you have a handkerchief?
Of course not. Time was when handkerchiefs were standard equipment, enabling you to perform a discreet wipe or offer it to someone you had made cry. Please do not use a napkin. Miss Manners is afraid that if you cannot deal discreetly with your nose, you will have to excuse yourself to do so.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
Source link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/05/01/miss-manners-older-couple-home-phone/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wp_lifestyle