Hongjian Duan and Zhenyu Yang wanted to get married for over two years, ever since they began dating in their home province of Chongqing, China.
“We’ve been completely obsessed with each other since we met,” said Duan, 29. “But there is no opportunity for [LGBTQ people] to get married in China.”
Same-sex marriage is illegal in China, but Duan said he and Yang, 23, were surprised to learn they could get married via Zoom by an officiant in Utah County, one of the most conservative counties in the United States.
Although their union would not be legally acknowledged in China, a marriage performed by the Utah County Marriage License Office in Provo, Utah, would provide a formal recognition of their love, Duan said.
So on Oct. 10, they put on their favorite shirts and were married at midnight in their apartment in front of a lit-up “I do” sign as Duan’s parents looked on via Zoom as witnesses.
“Since we met, the distance between us has been less than one centimeter,” Yang said in Chinese through an interpreter. “We knew we could not be separated.”
Duan responded in English: “I will love you until the end of time. I will be here no matter what happens. Stay with me — make all our dreams come true. Tell me you will be mine.”
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After the pair exchanged rings and joyfully kissed, they were declared legally wed by Ben Frei, a Utah County deputy clerk who has performed dozens of same-sex marriages for LGBTQ couples from China.
Since the spring of 2020, the Utah County office has performed virtual weddings for thousands of international couples, including 585 Chinese couples, said Russ Rampton, deputy clerk of digital marriage-license services for the county.
About 150 of those Chinese marriages involved same-gender couples such as Duan and Yang, he said.
Utah County is largely populated with members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which opposes same-sex marriage. But personal beliefs shouldn’t get in the way of the law, Rampton said.
“If you believe in individual liberty, same-gender marriage is a natural consequence of that,” he said. “Love spans all nations, cultures and languages. Same-sex marriage is legal in the United States, so we follow the law.”
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Utah County had already decided to do Zoom weddings before the covid-19 pandemic hit in 2020, he said, noting that the marriage license office was up and running shortly before everything shut down for weeks in the United States.
“We initially had set it up for residents of Utah County, so they wouldn’t have to travel as far to come to our office and get married,” Rampton said. “Then during the pandemic, even Las Vegas shut down.”
People started driving to Provo from all over the West, he said, because Utah County kept its marriage bureau open for in-person weddings.
“We also offered weddings over Zoom, so people who found themselves on the other side of their borders during the pandemic began calling us due to the travel restrictions,” he added.
LGBTQ couples from countries such as Russia, the Philippines and China that don’t acknowledge same-sex marriage soon discovered they could get legally married through Utah County’s Zoom service, Rampton said.
Anyone is eligible for the nuptials as long as they provide proof they are of legal age, fill out all of the required forms online and pay a $35 fee, he said.
The county also allows other licensed wedding officiants from Utah to marry couples remotely via Zoom. Michael Foley, a radio host from St. George, Utah, said he has married about a dozen LGBTQ Chinese couples and sent them marriage licenses through Utah County.
“Their marriages aren’t recognized in China, but they’re recognized here,” said Foley, noting that he usually wears his pajama bottoms to marry couples via Zoom at 3 a.m. Utah time on the weekends.
“I love doing this — it’s like a Hallmark Christmas movie every time,” he said. “To turn on my laptop and look into the eyes of a couple clearly in love and committed to each other is a wonderful thing.”
For Duan and Yang, who both work as office assistants in Chongqing, seeing an ad online that they could get married remotely with help from a Utah officiant was life-changing, they said.
“I proposed to Zhenyu, and we knew that marriage would be extremely fantastic for both of us,” Duan said. “It’s an all-new experience we’ve never had, so we were really excited.”
At precisely midnight in China, Frei called the proceedings to order from his Utah County office, more than 7,000 miles away.
“You’re choosing each other because you love each other,” Frei told Duan and Yang. “The two of you complete each other and complement each other, and I know you’ll do amazing things together because of your experiences and your hearts’ love.”
When Frei asked the couple whether they wanted to be referred to as spouses, partners or husbands during the ceremony, Duan quickly chimed in:
“I want to be the wife, and Zhenyu will be the husband,” he said.
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“Okay, here we go,” he said. “I want you to put your wedding rings on your pinkie fingers so you can exchange them.”
Frei then went through his usual instructions for the couple to “cleave unto each other in times of sickness, health, rich, poor, fat, thin, ‘covid-22,’ wars, riots, natural disasters, ups, downs, celebrations, triumphs, families, friends and neighbors until death you do part.”
“Yes, I do, your honor,” both men replied.
After they kissed and embraced, Duan expressed his hope that their union will one day be recognized in their homeland.
“Time changes, and people change too,” he said. “The old era has gone, and the new one becomes more and more supportive and embraces many things.
“Love is love,” Duan said.
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