DEAR ABBY: Every yr, my brother and his spouse have come to discuss with us. They live for 2 weeks. The first phrases out of my sister-in-law after “hi” had been, “I’m now not doing a factor as a result of I’m on holiday!” My reaction used to be, “We are all retired, so on a daily basis is a holiday.” 

Abby, she is impolite, nags my brother and asks him if he has showered, modified his undies, and so on. She treats him like a kid, and “reminds” everybody else how good she is. When they discuss with, she expects everybody to attend on her as a result of the gap they’ve traveled. We really feel 3 days is lengthy sufficient. How do I inform them with out exhausting emotions this isn’t an appropriate period of time to stick? — NO SERVANT IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR NO SERVANT: May I be frank? With any person like your self-entitled sister-in-law, you will have to be expecting exhausting emotions as you roll again the welcome mat. Tell your brother and his spouse that whilst you love them, you’re not able to deal with them for longer than 3 days and, in the event that they need to live for your town longer than that, they are going to want to organize different lodging. Then batten down the hatches, get ready for a hurricane and persist with your weapons with out arguing or explaining additional.

DEAR ABBY: I made a pal six years in the past on social media. We have by no means in reality met in particular person, however now we have stayed involved. She started contacting me each day a few yr in the past, which used to be nice on the time, as a result of I took a couple of years off paintings to handle my child. It used to be pretty to communicate with some other grownup as a stay-at-home father or mother. She’s a really nice woman who’s sufficiently old to be my mom however, sadly, suffers from serious agoraphobia. She hardly leaves her area. Her window to the sector is her mobile phone. 

Her circle of relatives helps to keep their distance from her as a result of she tends to be judgmental, condescending — even on occasion downright impolite. She’s been directing this kind of habits at me in recent times. I’ve at all times attempted to be affected person and compassionate as a result of she may also be so candy. I believe sorry for her as a result of she doesn’t have someone in her existence. However, I’m rising very uninterested in her negativity and dependable proceedings. 

I’ve simply returned to paintings and feature had much less time to communicate along with her. I believe responsible about it as a result of I’m in reality happier the fewer we communicate. I nonetheless handle her, however I need much less touch along with her. What can I do with out hurting her emotions or regularly “ghosting” her? — CHANGE OF HEART

DEAR CHANGE: Not most effective have you ever had a transformation of center, however you will have additionally had a transformation of instances since you are again at paintings. Tell the lady, as kindly as conceivable, that you’re not able to proceed speaking as lengthy or as regularly as you probably did earlier than. If she responds in a impolite, judgmental or condescending means, inform her the reality — that you simply refuse to be handled that means — and finish the decision. If you do, both her habits will trade, or she will ghost you. 

Dear Abby is written by means of Abigail Van Buren, sometimes called Jeanne Phillips, and used to be based by means of her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.