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Dear Miss Manners: We’re a family that loves olives, but, sadly, we’re one that has no idea how to politely deal with the pits.
An overheard conversation between two guests at a party made me realize that I also don’t know how to serve them: I have not been providing what’s needed to avoid embarrassing them. For decades, it seems, I’ve been failing as a hostess.
Please help, and I’ll be sure to pass the info along to our children and grandchildren!
What on earth was this overheard conversation? “You know, Sherry would be a perfect hostess if it weren’t for the unpardonable omission of someplace to put these olive pits. Now I am going to have to put them in my suit pocket, which will delight my dog, but infuriate my dry cleaner.”
If that is your worst sin of the decade(s), Miss Manners congratulates you on making a mistake that is so easily rectified. And it gives you something to do with all those old ashtrays.
Dear Miss Manners: My 96-year-old father-in-law passed away several months ago, but his ex-girlfriend of only two years still expects to be at all of our family events.
The only one in the family who likes her is my sister-in-law, who keeps inviting her to birthdays, etc., without asking the rest of us whether it’s okay. The ex-girlfriend is not very nice — downright insulting at times — and she has family of her own here in town. How do we tell our sister-in-law we don’t want dad’s ex around anymore?
By not criticizing her guest list when she acts as hostess. Explain that you completely respect your sister-in-law’s friendship with your father-in-law’s friend, and that you understand her decision to include her. But you will not be inviting her when you host.
Note the use of “friend” in place of “girlfriend” or “ex” to describe the unwanted guest. Miss Manners will not be entirely surprised if, after you have this conversation, your sister-in-law confesses that she does not like the woman, either; she just has not figured out how to say no to her.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
Source link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/06/01/miss-manners-olive-pits-entertaining/